Balance is Bullsh*t

Now I don't want to debunk my mission and exploration of a reasonably balanced way of life, but when you think about it, complete balance is a total crock of sh*t. It's unachievable, it's unrealistic, and it's really a form of perfectionism that has the potential to send anyone batty.

The thought of all aspects of life being in harmony sounds so incredibly beautiful. Realistic? No. Peaceful? Heck yes. Just take a moment to imagine if your body, mind, finances, relationships and career all align so nicely that there is no push pull dynamic within. It’s as if you are floating along in life. I want that option please.

On one hand, maybe this ‘balance’ would actually be boring. If everything is in order then maybe there’s no focus elsewhere. Nowhere to guide your attention and work towards. Would your motivation dwindle? Would you have purpose? To be honest this is just verbal diarrhoea in the written form as I think of these questions, so I haven’t given it the time of day to think too deeply about this, BUT maybe, just maybe true balance is not cut out like it’s made to feel. Or even if you did achieve the closest thing possible to pure harmony, would you still be wanting more? It’s human nature to always strive for more, especially in this day, so it’s quite challenging to appreciate the simplicity and magic of a life that compared to others is respectively slow.

Is it even possible to find complete balance, though? Cast your mind to someone you may know who seems to be financially well off or ‘have it all’. Is there anything simmering behind the scenes? Personally I know some wealthy people who do not ‘have it all’; one of them has a degenerative illness at an age far too young, and who has spent a lifetime of saving and working hard with little travel or cultural experiences (in saying that, maybe travel and experiences do not align with their values, but surely there is more to life than just work and money); Another is in a passive aggressive marriage with two young children and would have to be one of the grumpiest people I know. Social media is a stickler for showing a highlights reel. You see young mum’s with their beautiful children, loving relationship, kicking career goals, all whilst renovating homes or travelling around. Yet we do not see the side where they are going into debt for this lifestyle or breaking down because their toddler hasn’t eaten another home cooked meal. Or the people who seem so healthy with great eating habits and exercise regimes, but secretly they are insecure and would change many things about their body. Now I think about it, I don’t know anyone who is truly balanced in all aspects of life (me included).

Not to get all down in the dumps after the sudden realisation that balance is bullshit… I do feel that you can reach an equilibrium within that at least allows for contentedness. I guess it takes being real with yourself to see what areas need more focus. Do you have to put forward an even distribution of energy to these areas, or is one piece in particular causing more stress than needed. And if something does need work (i.e. your finances), where do you start? I have just finished reading ‘Atomic Habits’ by James Clear. Clear describes real change in habits as coming from the compounding effect of hundreds of small decisions. I would love to explore his book further in a future post but these small changes can have a transformative effect on your career, your relationships and your life. Relating this back to my question of ‘where do you start?’, well there could be numerous points to start, but the most important thing is to just start.

Scrap 100% balance, the vision I have for myself is to be in relative harmony both within and for my life trajectory, acknowledging the natural ebbs and flows of life. The word that pops to mind is ‘content’ or ‘contentedness’. What makes me content may be largely different to anyone else, and that is beautiful in itself. With two small kids and the constant demands for snacks, the deflating feeling of a toy bomb exploding inside the house each day, and the relentless rhythm of preparing, eating and cleaning up meals, people may question how feeling content is possible. I find that people tend to tell you all the difficult things about having kids, but what they don’t prepare you for is all the magical times as well. Sure, it’s not smooth sailing all the time but I am excited for the journey ahead, riding the curve balls, focusing on myself and the important people around me, and ultimately being a stable role model for my kids. Balance may be bullshit, but life can still be pretty darn good despite the turbulence.

Here’s to exploring our own version of contentedness and finding that rounded way!